| Friends Lost, Friends Found And Other Tales Of Grief |
I lost a friend today, and I'm feeling sad. We go through life as friends come and go. The strength and bonds of friendship
wax and wane. But somehow there is this comfort in the back of your mind that if you ever need them or want to see them,
they are there.
The real friends, not the passing in the night friends. You know…you go sit in some garage somewhere and listen to some
famous musicians from whatever scene, jamming through the night. Then you can say "Oh ya I know him. He's a friend of
mine." But when someone who was a good friend dies, there's this sorrow. This permanence of the loss. It almost becomes a
selfish act, this grieving. You are not grieving for him or her, you are grieving for yourself, knowing you won't be able to
enjoy their company anymore. You've lost something within you, as well as them. Then you move on.
I lost a lot of friends to wars, and drugs, and disease. But somehow it's different when you are young. You're into the scene,
hanging, and shit, and meeting new people, finding new loves, all new friends. For me, age and time have made me a solitary
soul. I don't get out and about much any more. New friends are few and far between.
It's weird here on myspace. Cyber friends come and go. Lost in some state of anonymity from which they came. You don't get
a letter, or a message, you just know they are missing from your friends list. The funny thing is recently one of those friends
just wasn't on there anymore. And I felt a loss. The same feelings as I have from a friend passing on. I guess I wasn't ready
for that level of feeling. How weird. I'm kind of blown away. It just wasn't like any heavy relationship built in cyber space,
or a blossoming on line love affair. We were just myspace friends. Yesterday she was there. Today she's gone. And I find
myself missing her……….
wax and wane. But somehow there is this comfort in the back of your mind that if you ever need them or want to see them,
they are there.
The real friends, not the passing in the night friends. You know…you go sit in some garage somewhere and listen to some
famous musicians from whatever scene, jamming through the night. Then you can say "Oh ya I know him. He's a friend of
mine." But when someone who was a good friend dies, there's this sorrow. This permanence of the loss. It almost becomes a
selfish act, this grieving. You are not grieving for him or her, you are grieving for yourself, knowing you won't be able to
enjoy their company anymore. You've lost something within you, as well as them. Then you move on.
I lost a lot of friends to wars, and drugs, and disease. But somehow it's different when you are young. You're into the scene,
hanging, and shit, and meeting new people, finding new loves, all new friends. For me, age and time have made me a solitary
soul. I don't get out and about much any more. New friends are few and far between.
It's weird here on myspace. Cyber friends come and go. Lost in some state of anonymity from which they came. You don't get
a letter, or a message, you just know they are missing from your friends list. The funny thing is recently one of those friends
just wasn't on there anymore. And I felt a loss. The same feelings as I have from a friend passing on. I guess I wasn't ready
for that level of feeling. How weird. I'm kind of blown away. It just wasn't like any heavy relationship built in cyber space,
or a blossoming on line love affair. We were just myspace friends. Yesterday she was there. Today she's gone. And I find
myself missing her……….
