Halloween Acid
    I continued to look upward as now the third Gargoyle, silhouetted by the moon, came to life and flew away from the cathedral
    rooftop. Only this one did not fly off exalting in his rebirth, but soared down in a spiral and landed at my feet.

    “WHAT YEAR IS IT MORTAL?” His eyes blazed like a ruby set on fire.

    “Don't take that tone with me vile creature. I'll have fucking Quazimoto or whatever the fuck his name was come and rain some
    whoop ass down on your ugly face! Damn you got some bad breath. Never heard of mouth wash?” He turned his head askew in
    the manner of a dog hearing a strange sound.

    “How is it you don't fear me? Maybe I should make you my first meal. My stomach is a bit empty after a millennium.” He
    licked his lips and showed me his fangs.

    “STFU asshole!”

    “What does this mean STFU?”

    “It means shut the fuck up…asshole. I know you aren’t real. But I’m enjoying this conversation. God damn this acid is good.
    You’re almost real! I’m about ready to eat some more. I ain’t never had a Halloween trip like this before!”

    “You eat acid? Does it not burn your throat and stomach? What manner of man are you?”

    “I’m your typical run of the mill 20th Century hippie trying to get by in the 21st.”

    “Then I shall eat you! He started stepping toward me.”

    “AH HA HA HA HA! Ya you can eat me alright bitch. You ain't real.”

    “I’m as real as the evil heart that beats within me.”

    “Prove it dick breath. Let me listen to this so called heart. If I hear it, then you can eat me.”

    He lifted his wing and turned sideways motioning to a soft spot below it that had no scales. I walked over pulled the .357 from
    my back pocket and fired 3 hollow points filled with Mercury into his evil heart. I lifted up my sleeve and showed him my
    tattoo. “I am Alexander of The Holy Order Of St. George Of Cappadocia, and Protector Of The Lance Of Ascalon, and
    Slayer of Dragons. Oh I’m sorry. Did I forget to mention I’m a Gargoyle killer and a hippie too?”

    He got this quizzical look in his eye and collapsed in a heap.

    “What a shit head. He wakes up after a thousand years as stupid as he was when he went to sleep. Oh well, one down and two to
    go.” I reloaded, hopped on my bicycle and phoned HQ on my cell. “Well, he’s dead. Any hits on the web site from the observers
    where the other two have gone?