The Incredible Her Loves Knife

    It Chops!

    It Cuts!

    It Slices and Dices

    Watch this!
    See how easily it cuts through this brick!
    You wouldn't dare do that with a regular knife!
    See how it makes easy work of cutting this soda can in two!
    Can your knife do that?
    But wait!
    There's more!
    We're gonna take a human heart and make it unrecognizable!
    Slice out the love!
    Chop up the caring!
    And dice those memories so fine you can use them to make heartbreak salsa!
    Now you would expect to pay 100, 200, even 300 dollars for a knife like this elsewhere!
    But call now and you can have the incredible "Her Loves Knife"…
    ABSOLUTELY FREE!
    What are you waiting for?
    And the best deal of all?
    Her Loves Knife cuts are guaranteed to last for a lifetime!
    So don't wait, call now!
    BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
    Be one of the first 1000 people to order
    and we'll include the incredible "Bucket Of Tears Mop"
    Absolutely free! (just pay shipping and handling)
    So don't just stand there!
    Get out those credit cards and call today!

Offer also available in AK, or HI. All major credit cards accepted. Her Loves Knife is available for free, to anyone who can afford the price. Ladies. Ask about our special on
His Loves Knife as well. Our operators are standing by.