| Yak Butter, Chickens, Smoke Detectors, & Football Cheers |
Yak Butter. Yum! Yum! Did you know that Yak butter turns blue at 15,000 feet, (4572 meters). I suppose at that altitude I'd be turning blue as well. I'm from Los Angeles. I don't do cold very well. Anything under 50F, (10C), and I start thinking I'm gonna freeze to death. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know that. Since we are on the subject of butter, and since it is football season, I'll ask the ladies to leave so us guys can talk guy stuff. Dudes! You got to start learning about cooking. I'm gonna help you, by turning you on to my favorite recipie. It's called Thursday Night Smoke Detector Bachelor Football Chicken. Now mind you this just isn't a mans meal so if you got a lady friend who enjoys football, invite her over for a Thursday night game, and surprise her with your culinary skills. As a bonus, since this is a healthy dish, you can show her you really care about whats best for her! OK put on an old T-shirt and let's get started. Prep time 15 minutes Cooking time?. The smoke detector shouldn't take more than 15 minutes, but to be on the safe side, start at 5:40PM. 1st the ingredients: Your usual beer purchase for Thursday Night Football. 2 dirty forks. A step ladder. A cordless drill with bit, screws, and anchors. A smoke detector w/ fresh 9V battery. A bunch of chicken. It don't matter what part, the only important thing is it still has the skin. A stick of butter. Margarine won't do, it doesn't smoke a lot. A broiler pan. 2 mixed green salads from Wendy's Turn on the broiler (I'm glad it's broiled and not baked. I'm not doing that conversion stuff anymore. What a pain in the ass). Take the step ladder and smoke detector into a room next to the Kitchen, but not in the kitchen. Take your cordless drill (I hope you're a real man and keep your battery packs charged!) and install the smoke detector. Test it. Get your chicken and dump it in the broiler pan.. You don't need to wash your hands first. That's a girl thing. Cooking kills the germs. Get your stick of butter and start rubbing it all over the chicken. Get a nice coating on there. Throw the pan in the broiler. It should be about 6:00 Pacific Time. Keep the broiler door open a crack. We're cooking with fire here not heat. Grab a couple brews and go join your shweetie for the kickoff. For a nice romantic touch, lose the Bud, or Coors, or whatever your usual crap beer is, and get something imported. My favorite is Busch Bavarian. I know you like your domestic piss water beers, but hey Cowboy up! Do it for her. (Man a Shiner Bock would go nice right about now. Damn doctors!) In a little while, maybe 10 minutes or so, about when the pre-game junk is over, listen for the sound of sizzling coming from the kitchen. Run in there, flip 'em over, and spread some more butter. Go back to the game. When the smoke detector goes off, you'll know they are done. Go in the kitchen peel the blackened burnt skin off the chicken, (that's the healthy part of the recipe. Skin is full of cholesterol, and it comes off better when it's blackened), slop on some of that good 99 cent a bottle Hunts BBQue sauce, and plate those puppies. ("Plate", that's chef talk for put them in a dish). Whip out those 2 salads you bought at Wendy's, put them in bowls, so she thinks you made them, and Enjoy the meal. Oh, almost forgot, make sure you serve the salad with the dirty forks on the side. She'll notice. Girls always notice that stuff. If she says anything, tell her you washed them yourself. She will never ever ask you to wash the dishes, if it turns into a long term love affair, and you start living together. If she notices but says nothing, then you got a keeper. Be sure to check out my Easy Sorta Mexican Chicken, and Sorta Italian Garlic Chicken recipes on line at FoodGeeks.com. Tomorrow, I'm gonna teach you guys how to fold towels. |
