angryhippy's Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas
Not feeling too mellow
My hairs turning grey
And my teeth they are yellow

I looked round the house
But my stash spots were bare
Not a bud nor a seed
Could be found anywhere

I looked at my watch
But the battery was dead
I had to find something
To fix up my head

I thought to myself
Life’s joy is just gone
When I heard a loud noise
Out front on the lawn

A horrible noise
Crash bang screech and pops
I looked out the window
Oh shit it’s the cops

When out jumped old Larry
Who had been at the bar
He rushed in a yelling
“I stole a cop car”

And  threw down a baggie
On my favorite chair
Of green bud all covered
With bright purple hair

Then laughing he said
“It was there in their trunk
20 pounds of  good weed
It’s the kind man it’s skunk”

Jumping into the car
Then off like a shot
“They ain’t gonna catch me
Gotta go man I’m hot”

Then I got out my plate
Cleaned a pile of green
Pure Sensimilla
Not a seed could be seen

I rolled up a fatty
The size of a car
Well not really that big
More like a cigar

I fired that fatty
Up lickity split
That shit was so gooey
It wouldn’t stay lit

With a whole change of heart
Now I’m sitting here mellow
My teeth are now ivory
Instead of yuk yellow

And my hair that was grey
Just an hour ago
Is a beautiful silver
With streaks white as snow

Of course Larry got caught
Cause crime doesn’t pay
But the good news my friend
Is he did just one day

I sold all his weed
But he hasn’t a grudge
I used all the money
To buy off the judge

This high Christmas story
I swear that it’s true
Now I never let holidays
Get me to feel blue

So if you feel down
And not very merry
You might get a visit
From Crazy old Larry

The moral of this tale
You knew there’d be one
Is…is…


Oh damn I can’t think of anything that rhymes with one
“Hey Larry pass me that bong! Where’s my damn lighter
This shit keeps going out……”